lmaoalien:

how much does a friend cost and do i get a discount if i buy 4

spacecadet:

Stuff you could get away with saying on a kid’s show in the 90s, part II

spacecadet:

Stuff you could get away with saying on a kid’s show in the 90s, part II

automatically:

if you want a nice body, go get it. if you want to become a lawyer, study your ass off. if you want nice hair, pick a style and get it done. stop being afraid and motivate yourself. find yourself. find your happiness, because it’s out there waiting for you.

zbrexx:

zbrexx:

how did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

he gave her a ring image

spoken-not-written:

SINCE MY GRANDMA WORKS IN A CLINIC SUPPORTING PEOPLE WITH AIDS/HIV I ASKED HER TO GET ME SOME CONDOMS JUST CAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY AND SHE FUCKING COMES BACK WITH A WHOLE BOX

image

thanks grandma

no:

Is it too late to try to be myspace famous

plot twist: i actually died many years ago this is just a queue 

cokeflow:

asshairs:

PEOPLE STILL LISTEN TO OWL CITY HAAAAAAAHA

someone obviously doesn’t get 1,000 hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs lmao

tacoarmy:

"hey can i get a bit of your donu-"image

fabulusly:

*shaves legs seductively* 

plantdust:

i need clear skin by yesterday

rogerina:

i’ll see you in heck

bueno:

will u still snapchat me when i am no longer young and beautiful

teamrocketing:

my last words will probably be sarcastic